October 31st. Its the holiest of holy days on college campuses. Bigger than Christmas, Ramadan, Yom Kippur, and even Thomas Crapper Day, Halloween dominates the spectrum of holiday importance for the college student. Typically by this point in the semester, the first round of midterms are over and most students are ready to let it all hang out- sometimes literally. Halloween provides an oppertunity for students- specifically girls, to dress as though they are part of a really awesome club where all of the members wear the same size clothes as my 8-month old cousin. The only difference is while my cousin’s clothes radiate rainbows and smiles, the college girl’s outfit screams “do me”.
As an alpha male, what is my opinion on girls celebrating SLUTober by dressing up as Alice in Hoochiland? I think it’s awesome, period.
Of all of the hot Halloween getups, which are the hottest? Which costumes say, “yea, tonight I AM that easy”, or scream,”hey come look at things that are usually off limits to strangers” or even boast, “tonight, I have no problem with sexual harassment”?
Check out this list of the TOP 10 SLUTTIEST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES:
#10: SEXY EVE COSTUME
After seeing this costume, I will read the bible cover to cover to see what other kinds of treasures it hides. Why have I never taken a religion class?!!? Side note: this seems like the perfect time for some joke about the snake around her neck but I’ll be the adult (which isn’t a role I often take) and let it slide.
Guys, this is a spin on the regular french maid slut attire. I’ll be honest, I have no idea what makes this any different from a regular maid’s outfit, but I like it none the less. The cute white thigh highs mixed with the tightness of the outfit really get the point across, “Will work for ultimate tease session.”
I dont think “pleasingly” is the word to describe this outfit. I know, some of you are thinking, “Its a one piece, what’s so slutty about it?” Well, think of the costume as a whole. The high heel shoes, the bunny ears, and let’s face it, when were you at a party where a girl was wearing a one piece corsett, because that’s what this is. Just ask her to turn around- the back is just as sexy as the front.
#7: SEXY REFEREE
I have seen many sporting events in my day. Never, and I mean never, have I been more interested in watching the referee than the game…until now. Ed Hochuli and his mammoth biceps couldn’t fit into it, so they gave it to this chick. Could be the pink stripes, the booty shorts, or those awesome stocking things that get me…no wait, it’s those gloves. Penalty! Unnecessary cuteness on the defense.
#6: LIBERTY BELLE
This is simple and hot all at the same time. Its a super short skirt with clipped thigh highs. It is sexy and slutty, but pretends to be respectable. The fake flame in her hand could easily be mistaken for something much more erotic. Some girls will take it that far, which again, is totally cool with me.
This is just smoking hot sexy. That sentence didn’t make any sense, but you’re not viewing this list for the article. No sleeves, feet exposed, and nothing but beautiful long legs. This outfit will make heads turn all night.
#4: SEXY COP
“Excuse me Officer Nasty, is there a problem tonight?” The only thing this cop will write you citations for is wreckless endangerment…of hotness. You better believe she knows how to use those cuffs. You have the right to reamin sexy. Anything you say or do will not be judged in the court of Slutober.
#3: GODDESS OF LOVE
Yeah, I know this is the second Goddess of the list, but come on, this is a hot outfit. This is for the Jane Fonda fitness freak who spends her evenings in step aerobics and has no inhibitions. You have to be confident and willing to bare all to pull this off. In technical terms, this is what we refer to as super duper slutty. Meaning, it can’t get much sluttier than this.
#2: PARIS HEIRESS
Ah, Paris, the original Hollywood slut. The shirt looks like the ones that Hulk Hogan used to wear and would rip off before every fight. Guess what, Halloween night could bring you a similar fortune with Paris Heiress.
Hit me baby one more time. Before you start whining and complaining and telling me that the other costumes are hotter, there is a reason why I picked this outfit as the sluttiest. First, it has the slut basics, short skirt, white thigh highs, sleeveless top, and neck tie. Second, if you can take a slutty outfit and make it sluttier, you’ve risen to a whole new level of skankism.
One piece of advice ladies, please remember your underwear…don’t pull a Britney on us.
October 9th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
That boarding school outfit is what the girls wore to my Catholic school everyday. Let’s just say by the end of first semester freshmen year I had an expansive and creative list of ways to deal with the “awkward boner”.
October 10th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Isn’t Eve a little OVER dressed?
October 10th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Touche, Alyse. Touche.
October 10th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Those are some pretty sexy costumes! What do you think of these ultra nerdy video game costumes?
http://www.infobarrel.com/10_Nerdiest_Video_Game_Halloween_Costumes