It’s no secret that John McCain is computer illiterate. When asked if he uses a Mac or a PC earlier this year his response was, “Neither. I am an illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all the that assistance I can get.” He also doesn’t know how to use email. Well alrighty then. What happens if Mrs. McCain is busy? How can you communicate with the Republican presidential candidate himself? I have a few ideas:
1) Pony Express - While it may seem like a foreign concept to most of us, sending McCain a letter via pony express may make him nostalgic for his childhood days. So go on, use it and stir up some sentimental feelings for the big guy…just don’t be surprised if it takes a little while for him to respond.
2) Carrier Pigeon - Recently, Betty White went on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and posed as a speechwriter for McCain. She claims that she gets the speeches to McCain via carrier pigeon. The former Golden Girl (her character on the show was Rose Nylund) delivers an absolutely comedic performance with a deadpan expression when answering Craig Ferguson’s interview questions. She doesn’t break character once as as she discusses what a “crazy bitch” Sarah Palin is for shooting down the carrier pigeons and talks about how sexist…I mean sexy Obama is. Watch this video and keep the pigeons in mind next time you want to communicate with McCain.
3) 2 Cups and a Reeeeally Long String - Hey, why not? It worked when we were kids and all this technology wasn’t around so it could work now. Besides, it would probably be the least confusing method for McCain. You can take advantage of this means of communication when he visits your hometown or a nearby city. Just toss him one of the cups and get to talking.
4) Morse Telegraph - So what if you have to learn how to signal the alphabet in Morse code? THIS COULD BE YOUR ONLY CHANCE TO TALK TO THE POTENTIAL PRESIDENT! Get to studying! (I hear he has one of these in every room of his house so you are likely to reach him via telegraph)
5) Rotary Phone - This would probably be the most high tech device McCain would be using. If you are expecting a call from him, be patient, it might take him a half hour just to dial.
Photo from: ioffer.com
October 17th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
This brought a smile to my face. And any post that involves Rose Nylund is better than okay in my book!
Check out College Prowler’s upcoming take on St. Olaf!