College Jolt

For the reader interested in working with kids or simply the idea of good people doing what they can for other people, I write about my present day experiences serving with the youth of Braddock, PA as an AmeriCorps member.

Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to hypnotize people?  To manipulate their minds and make them do whatever you want?  Make them think they’re a chicken or a dolphin or a giant or a nymphomaniac?  Or maybe you’d use your powers for good and convince people of how awesome they are.  You’d give out confidence boosts as if they were candy, and help people to help themselves.  You’d use your powers to help people do good in spite of themselves.

If you’ve ever wanted to do this, then this is the post for you.  Of course, I don’t know how to hypnotize people, and am frankly rather skeptical about the whole business, so don’t get your hopes up.  What I do have some experience with is getting people to do what they don’t want to. I work with kids every day, and on most of those days there is some activity I have planned that they do not want to do.  And yet, I get them to do it, and at least half the time they end up enjoying it.  Below are some general methods that you can use to deal more effectively with the people in your life.

Reinforcement and Punishment: The classic reward system.  There are two kinds of rewards and punishments, positive and negative.  The best, in terms of effectiveness and applicability to any situation, is postive reinforcement.  Positive reinforcement is basically rewarding a positive action.  For instance, I consistently remind the youths in my employment program that they are being paid for the work they are doing.  In this scenario, the action they might not want to do is working, and the positive reinforcement employed to get them to work is money.

I also work with my youths in a classroom setting, in which they often rebel against the lessons, which can be tedious and boring.  One day, I created a jeopardy game to quiz them on what they’d learned, and candy was used as positive reinforcement for correctly answering questions.  This made them try infinitely harder, and made them enjoy the experience as well.

Then there’s negative punishment, which can also be effective.  This involves punishing negative behavior by taking away something positive.  For instance, if my youths violate the standards of the program, I dock their pay.  This method reminds people of the good things that they do have, and keeps them working hard to maintain them.

Negative reinforcement is used less.  This is rewarding someone by taking away something bad.  It’s hard to do if there’s nothing bad to take away, but it can be effective if you find a way to do it.  In my program, if I see consistent improvement in work ethic and behavior, the improved youth is rewarded when I eliminate a violation that he or she had earned in the past.

One method to avoid is positive punishment.  This is punishment by the addition of something bad.  Examples would include spanking or extra chores.  It used to be a popular form of discipline, but has fallen out of favor in recent years, and for good reason: it doesn’t work right.  It can work, but there is great risk of negative side effects.  Positive punishment is more likely to increase bad behavior rather than resolve it.  It creates resentment in the person being punished, and this resentment can manifest itself in withdrawal or in acting out, neither of which is desirable.

Remaining Fluid/Flexible: Another important way of getting people to do what you want is to constantly evaluate the situation; you need to read your audience.  Pay attention to what works and what doesn’t, and adjust accordingly.  It is important to have guidelines and a game plan, but you cannot just go by the book, because what works for one person does not work for another, and you need to mold your game plan to fit the people it’s meant for.  You need to be able to think on your feet and adapt.  Some of the best days I had with my kids were the ones where I went in disorganized, without any real plan.  I HAD to think on my feet, and consider their wants and needs.

Positive Attitude: You can never give enough credit to remaining positive.  A smile goes a long, long, long way.  Be excited about what you’re saying and doing.  Be loud.  Heck, be obnoxious if you have to.  When you’re excited, the people around you can’t help but be intrigued.  Enthusiasm is contagious.  I mean, if you’re not excited by what you’re saying, how can you expect anyone else to be?

Positive Framing: Always show everything in the best of lights.  Instead of saying, “You HAVE to do this,” try saying, “We’re GOING to do this.”  The activity is framed as a goal to achieve rather than a chore to be suffered.

Instead of commanding someone, challenge them.  Don’t tell them, “Write down five qualities that make you a good leader.”  Instead, ask, “Who here thinks they could tell me what makes someone a good leader?”  You make it more of a choice, and you give someone a chance to stand out.

Keep things optimistic.  Instead of talking about someone’s bad character traits, focus on ways they could improve.  Spend more time praising than reprimanding.  If something unfortunate happens,  find a way to turn it into a learning experience.

By utilizing these methods, you can be more effective at influencing the people in your life to do good things in this world.  And just so you know I’m serious, remember I speak from experience.  I’ve used these methods at my job, and I’m getting a degree in psychology.  I hope you’ve found something useful here.  Go in peace.

Images courtesy of itstrulyrandom.com, dreamstime.com, norcalblogs.com and omegahrsolutions.blogspot.com.